Sunday, January 11, 2009

Returning to the Mother Ship




I have been back in California (or "Cali" as all non-Californian's call it - please see your Facebook comments on my Wall) and I feel like I'm back home. California as a state is known for it's "Fruits and Nuts" based upon the whacky people who have been known to live here. Many of the women I've dated have affirmed this in my life too.

That's why I chose the "Mother Ship" for the Title. As many of you recall, in 1994, a galactic group of spiritual souls residing in Rancho Santa Fe chose a mass suicide ritual to hop onto the space ship that was in the tail of the Hail Bop Meteor. Our beloved Heaven's Gate followers were joining one of their co-founders, who was behind the wheel of the great space shuttle in the heavens on that day in 1994.

I'm back to where I feel at home as an adult. Maybe there's a little whackiness in me that brings me back to this place. Reminds me of one of the funnier moments in Wedding Crashers where Jeremy (Vince Vaughn) has a man-to-man discussion with Father O'Neil about a certain redheads' nuttiness:


Father O'Neil (Henry Gibson): Hello, son. You okay?


Jeremy: Not now, Father, please. No offense to you. I think we might be on different wavelengths. I think you'd just be spinning your wheels with me, but, uh, have a little of the sacrament here. (pours two glasses of scotch) No one likes to drink alone. We'll set you up. There you go, get your hands on it. Take it while it's hot. Take it while it's hot. I'm gonna pour till it's on the tray. Here it is. Can I ask you a question, Father? Do you ever get horny? I'm sure you do. I just--in your position, you're not--right? Isn't that you're not allowed to... sleep with anybody, right? Does that get tough sometimes? You ever pull on yourself, or--? Everything works. Do you get swelled up still? ... Well, what do you do?


Father O'Neil: You pray.


Jeremy: Yeah, well, I pray too, you know what I mean?(The scene changes briefly, and when we return to Father O'Neil and Jeremy, the topic has switched to Gloria, the highly eccentric bridesmaid John hooked up with at the wedding.)


Jeremy: She's good. I mean, I believed that she was a virgin. It hurts to be lied to like that. It's a horrible feeling to feel that way. But I, you know, was looking to take advantage of something too. So could I really feel that bad? It's not like I was who I was. You know what I'm saying? So, fair play. And let's be honest with each other here, okay? Let's put all the cards on the table. She's fit for a straitjacket. This broad's fucked three ways toward the weekend. And you wanna know what? I dig it! It turns me on! Yeah! It turns me on! Because you wanna know what the kicker is, Father? Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy! That's right! Maybe Jeremy's a little nuts. Maybe there's something about me that I'm a little cuckoo. I know it's a surprise. I know it's not on the surface. I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other every day and bless his heart, Shiloh'd always let me win! And that ain't normal. There's something odd in that but maybe that's what it takes to make you feel like you're connected with somebody. I don't know! But I know when that redhead starts getting kooky that something about me feels alive inside! I'm diggin' talkin' with ya. You're a really enlightened cat and I like that about ya. I think you're a special special man. Okay, come in for the real thing. Get in here for the real thing. (John kisses Father on the lips) I love ya. You're a sweet man.


Father O'Neil: Oh, dear God.


I write all this on an 85 degree January day here in Newport Beach. Going on my 7th year in California, it all feels like home. Even though best friends and family are mostly in Portland, we're so well connected by phone and email, that there's nothing missing.

It's good to be back home at the mother ship, which I guess for me, would be that big body of water, the Pacific Ocean backed by perfect blue skies 330 days a year.